1. |
Foxes will fix your car
04:10
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Leafing through the pages
of a guide to live,
I’ve memorized the section
about the animal kingdom
Why do birds lie to birds
but they always tell the truth
to every other animal?
Birds are jerks and dogs will pee on
everything you own
Pigs are all insane
Ducks eat bread and only bread
and scorpions will sting you because
their tails are made of pain
Why do birds suddenly appear?
Every time I’m not here
Why do birds suddenly appear
in the walls in the attic in the halls
Bang their tiny heads
against the window
Snakes are death tubes
Antelopes are only here for show
Goats will let you down
Birds, they can’t see glass
and rats will do laundry at your house
and they will turn your white clothes brown
Birds, they can’t see glass
and rats will do laundry at your house
and they will turn your white clothes brown
Why do birds suddenly appear?
Every time I’m not here
Why do birds whisper in your ear?
Sniffing through the engine of
my rattling car
I don’t know what these things are
and I don’t know how to fix them
Wolves are great, they’ll make you lunch
while raccoons steal your credit card
and drive you to the bar
Bears will break into your house
and badly play your piano
while foxes fix your car
Kangaroos will help you with your resume
while Coyotes pour you tea
and cats will let you play their synthesizers
until the middle of the night
Geckos are annoying but they’re always on TV
Foxes will help you fix your car.
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2. |
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Volcano’s a hole where the lava lives
the sky is the goal when the volcano gives
a hole is a hole is a hole is a hole
Gophers make holes and they live in your yard
moles live in holes and their life isn’t hard
a hole is a hole is a hole is a hole
The Earth’s full of holes and the holes are where
the animals stay. They party all night and they
sleep all through the day. “A hole is a hole is a hole” that’s what they say.
A hole is a hole is a hole is a hole.....
And the most interesting part of the plot
is the part that the author forgot
and the most dangerous part of the donut
is the part that you can’t even see.
Do you want to fall forever?
Do you want to fall with me?
Do you want to fall? Do you want to fall into a
cartoon hole with me?
You’re holy if you’ve stayed in the church for
way too long. You’re hulled up in jail if they
think that you did something wrong. A hole
is a hole is a hole, that’s what this song is about
is a hole is a hole is a hole.....
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3. |
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Well, I’m not like the other guys
because I am a raccoon
I noticed what big teeth you have
underneath the full moon
I hope that you will talk to me
I hope that you won’t eat me
and I hope that we can spend some time
together
I hope that you don’t mind the noise
because I never shut up
but I will let you tie me down
and cover me with ketchup
I hope that i can make you feel
the way you want to feel
and I hope that we can get to know
each other.
I’ve never been in love before
with somebody so ruthless
I know you’ve got no sympathy
but leaving me is fruitless
I will hunt you down again
there’s nowhere you can hide
and I hope that we can spend some time
together.
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4. |
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Twisting and fighting and sometimes
I’m biting, I’m giving you rabies outside of
a mall. Howling and foaming and I’ve got
double vision. One glass of water and I’ll surely drown.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think there’s a cure
for
Can’t reach the pedals, can’t see past the
dashboard. I’m looking so angry while driving a bus. I’m not as messed up as youmight think I am. I’m drinking kombucha and clery juice.
I’m sorry, but there’s no cure for
reh
There’s no cure for rabies. My dog’s speaking to me reminding me nothing I do will work out!
Mom is an albatross. Dad is the TV.
The mice took the kitchen, we’ve nowhere to go and I’m making a salad at 3 in the morning cuz I’ve lost control of my life.
Huffing and barking, we’ll never find parking.
How could they do this? They know we have cars.
I’ve made too much salad, does anyone want some? Who do you think that you think that
you are?
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5. |
I miss you, Space Cat.
03:36
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I miss you, space cat. Where have you gone?
Seems we needed you now more than we ever have before.
The Earth is flat, but who can tell you that while you’re floating around it and having a ball?
Having a ball
Tiny astronaut floating into outer space
I don’t even know where
but you’re as far as anyone can be from anyone else
maybe if I astral project in my sleep
I can see you at the edge of the Earth in my dreams
You look so cute in your space suit
I really want to pet you but you’ll claw out my eyes
The rocket launches, I know you’re on it
but I call your cell phone anyway to see if you’re there, but you’re not there.
“Hello, this is Space Cat. I’m sorry I can’t take your call right now because I am in space. If you want to, you can leave a message that I’ll never hear
because I’m never coming back. Maybe if you think about me hard enough, I’ll think about you and we’ll meet in our dreams.”
We miss you space cat, won’t you please come back home. And if you think we’ll be made, I can assure you that we won’t. I know you’re out there, so independent on your own.
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6. |
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The First injury on the job is the best injury on the job, it's the first injury
the first injury on the job is the best injury on the job, it's the first
I heard when you fell, that you took the place down X 3
and your screams could be heard from miles around
And the boss came from his office and said "what's this all about"
and he saw you lying there and his face turned to grout
he said "we can't lose this one" and he took you by the hand
he said you're the best employee that he's ever had
and the paramedics came, they had tears in their eyes
they said "this is the worst we've ever seen, and you're too cute to die"
As they strap you to the gurney, you think about your fate
instead of dying doing what you love, you died doing things you hate.
The first injury (etc)
I heard when you fell that you took the whole place down with you
I heard when you fell, that the whole place went to hell
I heard when you fell that you took the whole place down with ou
and it hasn't been back ever since.
It's like on your way to work you got hit by a train
or you slid off a cliff while you were driving in the rain
and who put that anvil on that broken shelf?
you know, once you get hit once then you'll never be yourself
Or how about the time when the airpump went awry
and it filled you up with air and you floated to the sky
the steam roller driver texting pictures to his wife
If you die at work then you die in real life
Everybody
The first injury ETC
And i heard when you fell that the whole place went to hell X 3
and it hasn't been back ever since
And it hasn't been back, it will never be back, and it hasn't been back ever since.
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7. |
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If you were to look in my heart
You'd find a record player that tears records apart
and if you were to look in my mind
You'd find a tape cassette that you can never rewind
Oh, this summer never ends, is there nothing around us except for our friends?
I think I hear someone at the door
You don't have to knock if you've been here before
It's time to let go of your fears
You're warping the wood from your crocodile tears
All these things we've never tried, Is there nothing above us except for the sky?
If you were to look in my grave,
you'll find a skeleton and 4 screws in my leg
If you were to look in my heart I bet,
You'll find a toothy grin that you'll never forget
I know winter lasts so long, but if it brings us together then it can't be wrong
And all this time we thought we had, seems to flow like a river that winds so much that we followed it out until we were lost, but the river doesn't stop.
Even the hardiest dams from the angriest hearts will eventually fall right down the falls,.
Did you bite all these holes in the sheets or are we just falling apart at the seams?
If you bite the right wires, you can light the world up, or you can keep the world from being lit up, but it's impossible to know which wires to bite. Is it the red or the green or the blue or the white?
It's impossible to know which decisions are right.
It's impossible.
If you were to look in my heart
You'd find a record player that tears records apart
and if you were to look in my mind
You'd find a tape cassette that you can never rewind
But if you were to rip out that tape I bet
You'd find a toothy grin that you'll never forget
I know summer never ends
is there nothing around us except for our friends?
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8. |
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I sleep with my fists in the air
I'm an angry raccoon when you call me "trash bear"
Making friends with your dog in the night
we talk shit about you and your hideous life
and I'm building a stairway to heaven
out of garbage and broken dreams
when I get there I know if the stores are all closed
I can probably check all the dumpster
You're a mouth with no words coming out
and your snout smells like sauerkraut
you're a vinegar-hearted buffoon
a get-well-soon balloon on a roadkilled raccoon
I sleep with my fists in the air
I may be visually impaired
but I can see through all of your lies
and the whole world smells like french fries
And if I could believe you, I would
I would, I would
I sleep with my fists in the air
or I'm hugging myself, I'm my own teddy bear
and i'm punching the walls in my sleep
if I knock down the house then i'll live in a heap
If the shopping malls crumble to pieces
and they grind themselves into the ground
when I get there I know if the stores are all closed
I can probably steal what I'm lacking
You're a mouth with no words coming out
and your snout is a mucous spout
and I'm having a wonderful time
pissing on your clean clothes on your washing line
I sleep with my fists in the air
I may be as dumb as a chair
but I can see through all of your lies
hit me with 50 banana cream pies
and if I could believe you, I would
I would, I would
If the shopping malls crumble to pieces
and the garbage men take them away
when I get there I know if the stores are all closed
and I'm building a stairway to heaven
out of garbage and broken dreams
when i get there I know if the stores are all closed
I can get it for cheaper online
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9. |
Mortis Jackrabbit
01:53
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Dried up and feeling small
It's sapping all my energy to get through this
Growling and angry barks
this isn't anything I'm used to
The worst thing that I've ever done is having a good time without you
the worst thing that I've ever done is having a good time
while falling out of favor with the world
Oh friends, or enemies
You'll forgive me if I can't tell the difference
Why be so serious?
If i go down then I will go down singing
The worst thing that I've ever done is having a good time without you
The worst thing that I've ever done is falling to pieces
while falling out of favor with the world
And before things get too serious
I have to tell you that if I go down
then I will go down singing
If i go down then I will go down singing
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10. |
I've made too much pasta
02:19
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I've made too much pasta and you're gonna have to eat some
you're gonna have to eat some
you're gonna have to eat some
I've made too much pasta and I always always do this
I always always do this but they look so small
before you heat them up
Before you heat them up
Before you boil them up, boil the pastas up
and i've been wrong before, I've had to make some more
And yeah, I'm always so hungry when I'm finally cooking
and I thought that I could eat it all but I was wrong
and I thought that I could eat it all
I've got an attic full of pasta
an attic full of pasta
an attic full of pasta
from the last time I made pasta
I've got a house full of pasta
a house full of pasta
a house full of pasta
and it's giving me problems
It's coming out my ears, it's coming out my eyes
and it is in my snout, how do i get it out?
and it is in the walls, it's coming out my lungs,
Maybe I'll call Jenny and I'll have her come over
or Alvin, Edwin Wombles, or Cannibal Cathy
Chimney tooth, or Stinkfoot, or Schwaggardy Risno,
Bagelboo, or Zygote O'Hare, or Tilt Longtail
Waffles, or Wigglefest, Jingo, or Cranby
or Slimby B, or Happily married Harry
or Divorced Danny, or Wendell T. Wolf
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11. |
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Take your favorite girlfriend and you know,
take her for a night on the town
Take your favorite boyfriend, and you know,
slam him into the ground
Finally, we're out here all by ourselves
That reminds me, all your stuff is still on my shelves
Clear your mind out until
you're thinking about air
let your imagination wander
into a pit of despair
I'm not angry at all the stupid things that I did
I'm not worried, will lightning strike the house where I live?
I'm not hungry, but I'll eat all the food in your house
Don't remind me of all the stupid things that I said
Take your college diploma and you know,
throw it into the trash
give yourself a belly rub until
you get a big rash
I'm not nervous, We're out here all by ourselves
It's not a problem, but you left a lot of stuff on my shelves
I'm not worried at all the stupid things that I did
I'm not angry if lightning strikes the house where I live
I'm not worried at all stupid things that I said
I'm not angry if lightning strikes the house where I live
It's not a big deal, but all your stuff is still on my shelves
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12. |
Louisa's house
03:54
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If you want we can go to Louisa's House
I think by now she's cleaned the blood off the floor
We won't go in the backyard where the bodies are
and let's not stop on that same trap door
We'll have to sneak in Avoid your 3 headed dog
Or at least the angry head
It seems to happen every time i am there
Skulls under the waterbed
Don't mind the fact there are skulls under the water bed
keep your mind from wondering too much
don't look anyone in the eye whatever you do
don't look anyone in the eye
(drums kick in)
Don't touch the werewolves unless they touch you first
and if they touch you don't look them in the eye
if you go outside don't look down the punji pit
but look out for the punji pit
Who keeps a chainsaw in the kitchen like that?
Not even lumberjacks do
There were some weird meats in the fridge
I guess we'll never know the truth
The ouija board is moving by itself now
it's moving by itself cuz John Candy's ghost is here
I don't know if I can leave Louisa's house
I don't know if I can leave
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13. |
Coyote and Rat
05:26
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Everything's so far away
Would it be alright if I stayed?
If this train falls off the track
Can i ride upon your back?
feet on the ground and wind in the air
please don't forget that i'm there
if you lose me on the way
Where i land is where I'll stay
Can I trust you, can we turn back
if you've gone too far, I'll have a panic attack
If things get rough and you get hungry
will you promise never to eat me?
Heaven is so far away
Must you remind me every day?
Walking there is so insane
maybe we can take a train
if this train falls off the tracks
use these bones to fill the cracks
If you find yourself alone
I have found my own way home
It's a great big world, and I don't know where it ends
but when I find out it will be you and me
looking out into the abyss hand and hand
and we'll know that we are there because we'll be hand in hand
If the rain falls down if things go south
can I ride inside your mouth?
You can run run run as fast as you can
and I will hold on until the bitter end
It's a great big world and I don't know where it ends
but when I find out it will be you and me
lookin gout into the abyss hand and hand
with a smile on our face because we finally found the end
Don't bother trying to find us because you'll never hunt us down
in a million years with a million dogs and their noses to the ground
the paths we are took are treacherous and we've left this world behind
don't call us, we don't have a phone, we're out of reach of time.
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14. |
Gum Commercial
00:58
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I didn't know that a gum could last this long
chewing all day and all through the night
never loses its flavour, when i want to stop chewing
I just pass it along to a friend
Chewing forever
I just pass it along to a friend
Chewing forever
you never have to buy another stick of gum
and you know when your breath is fresh and you're feeling god
nothing can stop you
nothing can stop you at all
Chewing forever
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I've Made Too Much Pasta Trenton, New Jersey
"I've made too much pasta" is a raccoon with Rabies and a short life span who creates rock-type music about being a raccoon and other such stuff.
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